I'm leaving in a few days to sit Kyol Che. January 2, 2018 started the beginning of Kyol Che at the Diamond Hill Zen Monastery in Cumberland Rhode Island. Kyol Che is a term meaning "tight dharma" and is a 3 month meditation retreat observed by the monastics in the Kwan Um School of Zen. There is a summer Kyol Che as well that is 1 month long. I've always wanted to do a longer retreat and so decided to register. The longest I've sat is 1 week but I've also done what we call " hard training" for 100 days prior to taking senior dharma teacher precepts. During that time, I arose at 3:30 am and did prostrations, chanting, sitting, and walking meditation until time to get ready for work. The first week was difficult but then something appeared - a strength, an energy that is unnameable and the practice deepened.
Kyol Che is an extension of that. This retreat is indeed "tight dharma". I downloaded the instructions and information. No cell phones, ipads, ipods, computers, kindles. OK, I get that - no electronics - check. It goes on. No caffeine - What?! Ok - check! Wean off caffeine. No eating between meals. Ok, I can do that (maybe). Silence - for three months??!!! Ok - I think I can do that. But then, for me, comes the kicker. No reading, no journaling and no contact with the outside world ---including my family. Bit by bit, the instructions indicated, everything that supported me and propped me up was about to be stripped away. Bit by bit, I would be forced to actually face the great questions of life and death, doing the work of looking inward.
Why would I want to do this? What is it that drives my heart and mind to understand this fundamental nature of ours? Kyol Che sounds so hard to do! Many years ago, a student Zen Master Seung Sahn's, Su Bong Sunim, was doing a solo retreat in the mountains. In the middle of his retreat, he became assailed by doubts. "Why do ths? This is a ridiculous practice. Why bother sitting?" He finally got fed up and decided to call his teacher. He left his retreat cabin and walking through the woods for several hours, he went into town. He found a pay phone, dialed the number, and waited for his teacher to answer. It was many minutes before Zen Master Seung Sahn came to the phone. Immediately Su Bong Sunim said, " I'm tired of doing this. Why should I do a retreat? Why should I bother sitting?" Zen Master Seung Sahn yelled into the phone, " Not for Me!!" and slammed the phone down. Su Bong turned around and went back to his cabin and finished his solo retreat.
What does this mean - this "not for me" answer? It means we do this meditation practice to understand our true nature, which is Great Love, Great Compassion and the Great Bodhisattva Way. Doing a retreat, whether it is a long retreat like Kyol Che or a shorter day long retreat, is like hitting the reset button on our lives. As the quiet of silence and withdrawal from the world seeps in and the breath becomes our focal point, our center becomes strong, our sense of unity with all things emerges, and the energy and wisdom to help all beings comes to the fore.
Just as a last note - as I do this practice until the end of March, I would ask you all to sit with me - even if it's only a few minutes a day. This is called Heart Kyol Che and it is a way of calling to mind those who are sitting Kyol Che and staying as one with them. I will be calling each of you to mind and chanting Kwan Seum Bosal for you. See you in the spring!
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