Recently I had the good fortune to practice zen chanting and meditation with members of the Las Vegas Zen Center. My own teacher, Zen Master Ji Haeng, is the guiding teacher there, but Las Vegas is a 2 day drive for me so it was nice to see that I could, at last, have a virtual practice with a sangha that means so much to him. I pushed the button on my computer to join them on Zoom and my presence was soon acknowledged by the leader of this Zoom practice. I muted my button so that I could chant along with him. The internet often gives me the chills - it's just so cool that I can chant along with someone in Las Vegas in real time and be in my home in Kansas. Every participant had their computers muted, but I could see them all chanting.
Soon chanting was over and we began sitting meditation. The leader said we would be sitting approximately 40 minutes and asked that we all face outward and so I dutifully turned my back toward the computer and prepared myself for meditation. I heard him hit the chugpi - a long wooden clapper that is hit three times to signal the beginning and end of sitting meditation - and I began following my breath and using my hwa-tou as I normally do during sitting meditation. Following my breath, asking a great question. Following my breath, asking a great question. Following my breath, asking a great question. Over and over again. Soon I began wondering about the time - surely it was getting close to the end of the sitting period! No chugpi though. So I brought my attention back to my breath and began my meditation practice again. It wasn't long before I started getting restless again - surely the time was up now! Finally I turned around on my cushion only to find that Zoom had kicked me off the live stream and I had been sitting for a little over an hour! Ha-Ha-Ha.
You can get so tired/bored/sore/foot asleep/tearful/restless - you name it, it all comes up during meditation and if the chugpi hasn't been hit to end meditation, then you have to deal with everything going on in your mind. Zen Master Seung Sahn used to say that zen practice was "mind-sitting". We learn to just see what's there without acting on it. Pretty soon you begin to realize that your mind chatter is not you. It's just chatter. Seeing that is great freedom from always being controlled by your thoughts. So, don't hit your chugpi - even though you may get up from your cushion, let your meditation continue throughout your day - moment to moment letting yourself be aware.
