The Inexhaustible Lamp

I was recently going through books in my office and discovered "The Vimalakirti Sutra."  Vimalakirti, according to legend, was a lay person of some wealth who resided in the city Vaishali in northern India.  He had great wisdom and understanding of the Buddha's teachings and lived his life according to those principles.  This sutra is a little humorous in that Vimalakirti appears to be ill so that the officials of the region would come to visit him and he could talk to them about Buddhism.  Buddha heard about this and was trying to get his disciples and the bodhisattvas  to go, but one by one they all refused because Vimalakirti had sort of put them in their place at one time or another.  In one part of the sutra, Buddhas asked the bodhisattva, Upholder of the Age, to go see Vimalakirti , but Upholder of the Age also refused to go and told the Buddha a story about a devil coming to see Vimalakirtki with thousands of "heavenly women" and the devil offered them to Vimalakirti.  Vimalakirti accepted the women, taught them the Buddhist teachings until they were all enlightened and then asked them to go back to the devils palace.

And what Vimalakirti said to these women really struck me.  "Sisters," he said, "there is a teaching call the Inexhaustible Lamp.  You must study it.  This Inexhaustible Lamp is like a single lamp that lights a hundred or a thousand other lamps, till the darkness is all made bright with a brightness that never ends.  In this same way, sisters, one bodhisattva guides and opens a path for a hundred or a thousand living beings, causing them to set their minds on attaining enlightenment.  And this desire for the Way will be never be extinguished.  By following the teaching as it has been preached, one keeps adding until one has acquired all good teachings.  This is what is called the Inexhaustible Lamp."

In this time of great sorrow and anger remembering the first of the 4 Great Vows, "Sentient beings are numberless; we vow to save them all" is taking on the vow of the Inexhaustible Lamp - each of us living our lives in such a way that we can light the lamp of compassion in our selves and in others. 

Waiting for the Hit of the Chugpi

Most of the zen centers (if not all) in the Kwan Um School of Zen have shut their doors temporarily to maintain social distancing in response to the pandemic.  It's been gratifying to see how sanghas have begun ways to reach out in virtual community to practice together.  Now we can live stream on YouTube, Vimeo, Facebook and Zoom.  We can get dharma talks, download chanting books, read ebooks and all from the comfort of your own home.  The only thing you can't do is hug your sangha members which I am totally looking forward to when we are able to sit together again.  Since every zen center has been experimenting with their online presence, I've had the opportunity to be in touch more with our worldwide sangha. 

Recently I had the good fortune to practice zen chanting and meditation with members of the Las Vegas Zen Center. My own teacher, Zen Master Ji Haeng, is the guiding teacher there, but Las Vegas is a 2 day drive for me so it was nice to see that I could, at last, have a virtual practice with a sangha that means so much to him.  I pushed  the button on my computer to join them on Zoom and my presence was soon acknowledged by the leader of this Zoom practice.  I muted my button so that I could chant along with him.  The internet often gives me the chills - it's just so cool that I can chant along with someone in Las Vegas in real time and be in my home in Kansas.  Every participant had their computers muted, but I could see them all chanting.  

Soon chanting was over and we began sitting meditation.  The leader said we would be sitting approximately 40 minutes and asked that we all face outward and so I dutifully turned my back toward the computer and prepared myself for meditation.  I heard him hit the chugpi - a long wooden clapper that is hit three times to signal the beginning and end of sitting meditation - and I began following my breath and using my hwa-tou as I normally do during sitting meditation.  Following my breath, asking a great question.  Following my breath, asking a great question.  Following my breath, asking a great question.  Over and over again.  Soon I began wondering about the time - surely it was getting close to the end of the sitting period!  No chugpi though.  So I brought my attention back to my breath and began my meditation practice again.  It wasn't long before I started getting restless again - surely the time was up now!  Finally I turned around on my cushion only to find that Zoom had kicked me off the live stream and I had been sitting for a little over an hour!  Ha-Ha-Ha. 

You can get so tired/bored/sore/foot asleep/tearful/restless - you name it, it all comes up during meditation and if the chugpi hasn't been hit to end meditation, then you have to deal with everything going on in your mind.  Zen Master Seung Sahn used to say that zen practice was "mind-sitting".  We learn to just see what's there without acting on it.  Pretty soon you begin to realize that your mind chatter is not you.  It's just chatter.  Seeing that is great freedom from always being controlled by your thoughts.  So, don't hit your chugpi - even though you may get up from your cushion, let your meditation continue throughout your day - moment to moment letting yourself be aware.

 

Nowhere to go and no choice

In our zen practice we have basic forms we follow. We bow when we enter the dharma room and before we sit down. We bow 108 times in the morning. We chant mantras and dharanis and sutras. We do seated meditation with our hands in a certain form. When we do walking meditation there is a certain way to do that. We approach and open the altar in a certain way. Almost every action in the dharma room has some form that we follow. Inevitably when someone comes to practice there are usually strong opinions about those forms - some positive - some not so positive. What is it about all that bowing anyway? And why chant? Why do this, why do that? One of our members said that he always felt the forms to be a way of keeping alive the practice of meditation itself - as though the forms were a kind of anchor. A lovely way to think about those forms. One of the books central to our particular zen school is “Elegant Failure” by Zen Master Wu Kwang. This particular book looks more deeply at some of the kong-ans used in our school, giving the history of the characters in the kong-ans and clarifying some of the language. Today, while reading through some favorite passages, something he wrote really struck me.  “When you really face the fact that there is nowhere to go and no choice, then you enter your situation completely. Your mind does not keep saying, Well, maybe I’ll do this, maybe I’ll do that. There is no choice. There is only this moment, moment by moment by moment. And at that moment you can open to the simplicity of your being and of your connection with others.”  When you enter the dharma room that is what you get to experience - no where to go and no choice. You enter a space, albeit self-imposed, in which you do not get a choice about what to do or not do. You simply follow the form and your reaction to the form lets you see your own particular karma. Some of us like chanting. Some of us like bowing. Some of us just want to sit.  Some of us have problems bowing to the altar. But, regardless of our emotional reactions, we have no where to go and no choice. We just do it. And in that doing, we get to experience a microcosm of our life outside the dharma room. Everyday, we are confronted with situations in our lives that are hard or good or happy or sad. We cannot escape that. But what we learn in the dharma room during practice is this "just do it" mind. This is a mind of acceptance of the situation we are in. This is a mind of openness moment to moment of whatever life brings us.

Dwelling Nowhere

Dwelling nowhere, let the mind come forth

Where are you dwelling right now?  No - not just your house, but in your head.  Where are you?  We dwell many places during the day.  Today I was dwelling with my grandson and worrying about him.  At meditation tonight, I was dwelling in "What am I going to say when meditation is over?"  So many places to dwell.  Many times, we get stuck in dwelling in self criticism and self degradation or self flagellation.  Or perhaps, we start dwelling in criticizing someone else.  So many places to dwell.  I feel good!  I feel bad!  I am sad!  I am joyful!  I am happy!  I am sad!  I, I, I, I, I, .............And so on and so forth.  So many places to dwell!
But the Diamond Sutra tells us "Don't dwell anywhere and then bring forth that mind. - What does that mean?  It means actually dwelling everywhere and then bringing forth that mind with all the richness that that mind can express.  It means not rejecting anything or clinging or attaching to anything.  It means spaciousness.  It means meeting each moment with an attitude of openness and acceptance.  This is a mind that doesn't make distinctions.  This is a mind that doesn't make good and bad.
Where are you dwelling right now?  Can you let go and see the red cardinal in the tree and the sun shining overhead?